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"Son," my Dad said, "You could screw up a one-man funeral."

I don't know how many thousands of times my father told me that while I was growing up, but it soaked in pretty deeply.

By the time I reached adulthood, I was convinced; nothing would ever work right for me; if there was a way to mess things up, I'd always find it. That was just a fact of my existence: I was a screw up.

Oh, I tried to be a success. For years, I read piles of books on self-help. I did hours and hours of affirmations. I listened to tapes. I prayed. I self-talked. I meditated. And for a while, I would seem to be succeeding.

But underlying everything was the secure knowledge that even when things seemed to be going right, it was only temporary. I'd soon find a way to mess them up again.

There was such a thing as absolute power to control events, and I had it, though I didn't think of it that way. I was convinced it was exactly the opposite. And it wasn't until years later that I finally realized what I had been doing.

I was taking a refresher course in self-hypnosis in Tokyo one day when Tony, our teacher, set up a game for us. 

One person, who served as the target, sat facing all the other class members, who were lined up in a straight row. The target would suddenly, without warning, stand and face either left or right. 

The rest of the class members were to wait till the target was in the process of standing, and in that instant, we were to point either left or right to predict which direction the target would face. 

Several of the class members were getting correct predictions in the 70-80% range. 

I, meanwhile, was getting zero. In fact, I was becoming pretty depressed because all my answers were wrong. 

Then Tony pointed out something that shook my world. 

Statistically, I should be getting at least half my predictions right. Being wrong 100% of the time was as statistically incredible as being right all the time. 

As soon as he said that, I realized I was being "right" in my own backwards way. I relaxed then, and just enjoyed the game. I continued to get wrong answers, but now it was oddly exhilarating to be able to be wrong that consistently. 

That afternoon, in the course of 120 or 130 tests, I was right only two times. That's better than 98% consistency. Sure, I was always wrong, but as long as I knew which way my answers were skewed, I could adjust for it later. The important thing was the percentage. 

I have no idea what the mechanism was. I may have been reading minds, or it could have been body language, or even foreseeing an instant into the future; I don't know. What really matters is the pattern. There's power there. 

And I gradually realized that I'd been using that same power for years, proving my dear old Dad was right about me. I was a loyal and devoted son, right? I couldn't let him be wrong, could I? 

Naturally, I never consciously thought such a thing. Instead, I was quietly, obediently following my early training to always be wrong. 

My inner mind was set up to consistently produce a certain type of results, and no matter what came, that's what my inner mind produced. Even if it meant messing up my life over and over again, my inner mind had the power and exercised it flawlessly. 

At any rate, I could see that my controlling objective had not been success, but its opposite. 

And now, instead of criticizing myself for doing so many dumb things, and for taking so many wrong turns, I saw things very differently. 

Suddenly my life made sense. Those hadn't been wrong turns. And all those dumb things hadn't been dumb at all. In fact, they were smart, well-calculated moves - every one of them - when I took into account the real (though hidden) objective I had been programmed to achieve.

My mind had been working perfectly all along. Everything had always worked right. I had just been totally unaware of my REAL goal. 

Consider this - if it takes power to have things go right in your life, how much more power does it take to keep them going WRONG year after year?

But the real question is... can you change your basic, underlying beliefs about yourself? Can you change the goals that have guided and controlled your life up till now? 

The short answer is yes - it can be done.

But the actual doing will take more than a short answer.

You've spent years learning how to be you. So it'll take a certain amount of effort and time to change your inner programming.

They say an ocean liner, sailing at full speed, takes a couple of miles to make a ninety-degree turn. The reason is momentum. 

Remember Newton's laws? 

A body in motion tends to remain in motion unless acted on by an outside force. 

This is just as true of minds as it is of bodies. Your life has a momentum which you have built up over the course of many years. 

If you want to turn a big ship, you don't do it by flipping the rudder hard left for two or three minutes, then for another five minutes tomorrow. No, you turn it and you hold it there as long as it takes. 

The same is true for you and me. Persistence. Clarity of vision. Steadfastness of purpose. All the good, old-fashioned virtues. 

But changing your life doesn't have to be all grim struggle. It can actually be fun, if you know how to go about it.

You can steer your life into a happier, more satisfying course in six easy (even fun) steps.

FIRST: What do you want?

When it comes time to name (or list) the things they want, many people go blank. 

This is usually because they're unconsciously judging what's possible or appropriate for them. If it's not within the realm of what's appropriate, their minds refuse to even think it.

Maybe they'd like to buy a motorcycle, but they've always heard bikes criticized as too "wild" and unconventional.

Or they'd like to start a business, but they don't think they could possibly handle that much responsibility. 

It could be anything - writing a book; having a family; buying a luxury car; learning to scuba dive; having a healthy, attractive body; enjoying an exciting romance; wearing expensive clothes; being free of a dominating person; feeling cheerful every day. 
Anything at all.

Whatever it is, it's not "wrong" or "right." It's just something that appeals at a deep level. 

So all you need to do in this step is simply take a few pieces of paper, and spend anywhere from 15 minutes to an hour writing down everything that crosses your mind. Just a word or two. Don't edit. Don't censor. Just pour it all out on paper. The good, the silly, the preposterous, the noble, the fearful, and even the obvious. 

Write down everything.

Then go back a day or two later and sort out the things you've written. Cross out the things that you truly are not interested in, underline the things that are interesting possibilities, and circle the things that are strong contenders. 

Be prepared for a few surprises.

If you've done this exercise right, you're sure to uncover at least a few things you never before realized you had an interest in. That's good.

SECOND: What are some things you DON'T want?

There are bound to be some things you want to be rid of, and the sooner the better. 

Write these down.

Later, we'll edit these negatives so that they're more meaningful to your inner mind, but for now, give your conscious mind full play. Let yourself name all the things you'd love to get rid of forever. 

Is there a part of your job (or the whole thing) that makes every day a 
terrible torture? Is there a family situation that you want to be different? What about health? Figure or physique? Education? Earnings? 

People often find that making a don't-want list is easier than a do-want list. 

If you run dry, put the pen and paper aside for a few hours and come back to it later. Take as many hours or days as you need to make sure your list is complete. 

Then set it aside for another day or two. No matter how eager you are to move ahead (and that's a good thing), it's better if you allow yourself the time to do this step thoroughly.

When you come back to this after a day or two, start comparing the items on your two lists. 

You may find some interesting parallels and clearly matched items. 

However, you're almost certain to find things on your don't-want list that have no corresponding do-want. Think about that. There are things you want to be rid of, but you haven't any idea - yet - what you might replace them with. This is a good example of escaping to nowhere, or in this case, escaping to nothing, which never works out successfully. 

All this means is, you need to consider, fairly clearly, what you want to move away from and also what you want to move toward. 

Now take the things you DON'T want, and turn them inside out so that they become positives. 

Maybe you don't want your boss breathing over your shoulder, micro-managing everything you do. Try writing out something like this:

• I am an excellent worker

• my boss trusts me to do good work 

• I respect my boss 

• my boss respects me

Later, one of several possibilities can take place. 

1. Your boss will change his attitude toward you

2. Your boss will be transferred out

3. You'll be transferred.

4. You'll find an exciting new job with a great boss

5. You'll start your own business

When you specify a new and different condition in your life, and you do it with clarity and conviction, your inner mind can bring it into reality quickly and pleasantly. 

So knowing what you DON'T want can be a terrific asset if you take the time to use it correctly.

THIRD: Describe your objective 

Never say "I WANT such-and-such." Also never say, "I WILL have this-and-that." 

Always put it into present tense. Always say "I HAVE such-and-such." This is not a lie. Your inner mind is never concerned with time, so when you're telling your inner mind what to do, talk the language your inner mind understands best. Always, always say it in present tense. 

And be detailed. 

Let's say you want your business to succeed. What does success mean to you? Lots of money? Plenty of leisure time? Respect from your peers in the industry? What about acclaim from your customers or clients? 

Whatever success means to you, write it all down. This isn't just a daydream, so be sure to put in all the tiny details that most people leave out of their casual wishing. 

What color is the door to your office? What kind of pictures are on the walls, and how many are there? Do you have your family's pictures on your desk, or sitting nearby? When you close the drapes, what kind of fabric do you see? What does it feel like?

Yes, that's right - this is another list. But this list will be the vehicle that'll help you move quickly from where you are, mired in all those don't-wants, to living in the midst of everything on your do-want list. 

To make things extremely clear to your inner mind, put only one item per line. Don't combine stuff. 

Most people are tempted to write something like:

My office has dark green deep pile carpet, a huge natural wood desk, expensive paintings on the walls, indirect lighting, a gorgeous high-rise
view of the city, and a private bathroom.

Instead, try this format:

MY OFFICE:

• my office has deep pile carpet 

• the carpet is dark green 

• my office is on the 30th floor or higher 

• my desk is 32 square feet or larger 

• 5 paintings hang on the walls 

• the paintings are by painters I admire 

• from the windows I see Manhattan 

• and so on...

This format encourages you to be more specific about every little detail. 

Now close your eyes and don't visualize.

I know, everybody says visualize, but that's too limited. Instead, imagine walking around touching everything. Thump the desk and hear the solid sound it makes. Touch the drapes and feel the texture of the cloth. 
Are they lined? How rough or smooth is the cloth? Do they have a new-fabric smell?

Turn the doorknob to your private bath and feel how it clicks. How different does it feel from cheap door-lock assemblies? Walk over to the window, tap on the glass and hear the sound it makes. Look down at the traffic below. What other buildings are nearby?

Go to the main door, open it, and look out at your employees. What are they doing? How many are there? Is your secretary busy on his computer, or is he taking a call for you? What kind of voice does he have?

Look all around the inside of your office. Register everything there. Then say to yourself. I claim this office. It is mine. 

There are two more steps after this, and we'll cover them in a moment, 
but this will start making your dreams more real to you. And when they start becoming real in your mind, it's only a short time till they'll be real 
in your life.

But maybe your goal is not a business. Maybe it's a romance, or a marriage, or a vacation.

Be just as detailed here. With every target you set, be as meticulous and thorough as possible. 

With one exception.

Don't put in names. Say "My wife loves me steadfastly" rather than "Judy loves me steadfastly." The reason is, Judy has decisions of her own to make. She gets to decide who she loves. That's not your choice. So don't mess with this one rule, okay? 

If Judy would be happier someplace else, let thing happen for the best. She'll move on, and you'll get the wife who loves you from the bottom of her heart. Wouldn't that be a win-win deal?

FOURTH: Always use an insurance phrase 

This is just good common sense. Your inner mind is quite literal, and it may give you what you ask for, but in an unexpected way. 

If you only ask to lose 15 pounds, you could get your wish by being in a car accident and losing both arms. That IS NOT what you want, so use insurance.

Always put this phrase at the end of every affirmation, every list, every request you ever make.

"I receive this or something better in ways that are 
for the highest good of me and everyone involved."

This assures your inner mind will take into account the well-being of you and of others in everything it does for you. 

And while we're on the subject of losing weight, I often hear people use affirmations that say they "weigh 120 pounds" or "lose 15 pounds." 

But I'd like to suggest that the numbers are not really important. What we all REALLY want is to look great and feel good. Why not just go straight to your true target?

Why not write something like:

• I look good. 

• I am slender and healthy.

• I like the way I look and feel.

• Others like my appearance.

Isn't that what we really want? After all, you could slim down to 120 pounds, but it could all be muscle loss, and there'd still be a big roll of fat around your middle. 

Ugh! Fat AND skinny - now there's something that belongs on everybody's don't-want list. 

FIFTH: Give thanks before you get it 

Nature abhors a vacuum. And when you start giving thanks for something you haven't received yet, you're creating a vacuum. You're thanking the universe for a gift that isn't yet in existence. 

Nature will not allow a vacuum to continue for long. Once you start the thanksgiving, there's a void that needs filling. And nature, or the universe, will fill it. 

The more thankful you are, the more quickly you'll receive the object of your joyous, soul-lifting gratitude.

Please don't misunderstand. This is not just a bunch of glib double-talk. It's real. And it's just as important as each of the other steps. 

Skip this step and you will have wasted your efforts. 

Seriously.

SIXTH: Turn it loose 

So far you've:

• made a list 

• filled it full of details

• walked through it touching everything

• added other senses like smell and sound

• claimed it as your own

• put in a guarantee phrase

• and given thanks 

Now your part is done. 

Once you've carefully put together your order and sent it off, then it's time for you to relax and let it come. 

Just rest assured that if you order something, you WILL get it or something even better. 

Oh, c'mon Burke - it can't possibly be that simple, can it?

Well no, the process of bringing your requests into material existence is definitely not simple. 

But you're not the one taking care of that part of the process... so, as far as you're concerned, it IS that simple. 

You make your request, you make it in great detail, you fill it with imagined sensations, you claim it as your own, you ask that it all be done safely, and you give thanks.

Then you send it off, just like mailing a letter. 

If you mail a letter or a birthday card to a friend, all you do is drop it into the mailbox, and then you relax. Your part is finished. Now you wait for the post office to do its job. 

So, yes, as far as you and I are concerned, it's that easy.

Oh, one more small detail. Just keep being thankful for what you're receiving. You don't have to keep requesting again and again, but you should never stop being grateful for the richness and boundless generosity of the universe in which you live. 

Now, you may be thinking that all this list-making and detail-writing seem like a lot of work. Why bother?

There's one vitally important reason to do it. 

The delivery system - whether you call it your inner mind, the universe, or something else - that delivery system is working all the time. 

And whatever you're pouring your mental energies into, (whether you're worrying, or fearing, or expecting, or imagining) that delivery system is picking up your most intense thoughts, turning them into reality, and delivering the results right to your doorstep.

You always get what you order - even if you don't know you're sending out orders all day long. 

The universe never stops to ask if you knew what you were doing. It just fills your orders. 

Unfailingly. Accurately.

Because of this, I spent years convinced that the universe was a perverse, unfriendly place that went out of its way to mess up my life. Of course, it wasn't the world. 
It was me. 

After I finally learned how I was programmed to get things backwards, and changed it, then the universe became a friendly, loving, 
supportive place. 

But only AFTER I learned to do my part properly.

That's why it's a good idea to take some time and do the list making and the detail writing. 

Remember - you always get what you ask for, even when you don't know you're asking... 

Because in this universe, everything always works right.