"Control the manner in
which a man interprets his world, and you have gone a long
way toward controlling his behavior."
 Stanley
Milgram
A magician using the crudest of methods can baffle the most
intelligent of audiences. With a few simple props and an
intriguing story, an experienced conman can make a fool of
virtually anyone. And with the proper delivery, a comedian can
pry a laugh from even the most stoic among us.
What skill do these people share that grants them their
power over others?
They are masters of Psychological Ventriloquism.
They have mastered the art of inducing unconscious
assumptions in others.
When a magician levitates his assistant he runs a hoop up
and down her body “proving” nothing is holding her
up. Of course, he’s proving nothing of the sort, but he is
leading us to assume such a conclusion. And as a
result, “magic” becomes possible.
Con artists turn everyday items and circumstances into
tools they can use to elicit our trust almost instantly.
Documentation, credentials, circumstances, relationships. You
name it, if we assume it trustworthy, con artists have ways to
turn this trust against us.
How do comedians use our assumptions against us?
Consider this joke:
“My grandmother has been walking
three miles a day every day for the last five years and now
we don’t know where the hell she is.”
What makes this joke work?
It works because by the time we hear “last five
years,” we have unconsciously made an assumption
that sets us up for the punch line. We assume the grandmother
has been exercising. And this is exactly what the
comedian needs us to assume in order to make us laugh.
We cannot help but make assumptions. We take in
information so quickly that we are constantly, and more
significantly, unconsciously, making assumptions and too often
fail to distinguish between what we “saw” and what
we “assumed.”
This mechanism, which few recognize and even fewer
appreciate, is responsible for persuasion in its most
powerful form.
Why? Because of what I have coined our third tendency of
human nature and that is:
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People sometimes
believe what they are told, but NEVER doubt what they conclude.
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Don’t believe me?
Imagine within minutes of meeting a stranger he
tells you, “You can trust me.” Now imagine
that within minutes of meeting a second stranger the thought
crosses your mind, “Hey, I can trust this
guy.”
Which stranger will you trust more?
I thought so.
The point is, while most of us struggle to communicate our
messages to others, there are those among us who take a
different approach. They not only understand our
tendency to make unconscious assumptions, they have taken it
one step further. They have perfected the art of leading us
to make the assumptions they need us to make
in order to get us to do what they want us to
do.
The less you rely on direct communication and
instead strive to induce specific assumptions in
others, the more powerful your communication will be.
So how does one develop this ability? By studying
the masters of the art.
Watch a magic or comedy act and see if you
can spot when you’re being led to make specific assumptions
and what is being done to get you to do so.
Buy a book of jokes and tear them apart. Break them
down and discover the source of their magic.
You can also learn a lot by studying riddles.
Consider the following:
What rock group has four members,
all of whom are dead
and one of which was murdered?
Already know the answer? Imagine how much harder it would
have been had you not been looking specifically for misleading
language. Better yet, try it on someone else and watch their unconscious
assumptions trip them up.
Don’t know the answer? Rest assured it is right in front
of you.*
And finally, if you’ve ever been the victim of a
con, think back and reconstruct what happened to discover
where you went wrong in your assumptions about
the situation.
Each of these suggestions will help you not only increase
your awareness of how often we make unconscious
assumptions, but also how reliably others can get us
to do so.
When you learn their tricks, your communication will take
on a power that few can resist. Not only will you be more
likely to get what you want from others, you will have them
believing it was their idea all along.
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