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An Invaluable Tool
March 5, 2005
Reviewer: Tanya R. Gardner "Optimum
Life Ltd, Fitness & Stress Management Services" (Auckland,
New Zealand)
As a personal trainer and stress management coach,
knowing how to communicate with others positively is
a must for me! I first came across Bob Burg in early
2004, when I signed up to his free newsletter. I was
highly impressed by the quality of his articles, and
wanted to try his book. I wasn't disappointed.
In effect, Winning Without Intimidation is
an information-packed course in how to positively
persuade people.
Positive persuasion is the
art of communicating what you want from someone, in
such a way that they're most likely to want to do it.
It could be described as the art of interacting
with other people so that you both win, and so that
neither person feels manipulated, frustrated, or unable
to get what they want from the situation.
Bob spends a short section at the beginning of the
book quickly outlining the theory behind his practice
- most of which can be summed up in the idea that
people do things for their own
reasons, not for yours, and that they're not always
consciously aware of why they do it.
The key to persuading them to do something for you
then becomes effectively communicating how helping you
fulfils their needs.
The rest of the book is spent giving practical example
after practical example of how you can put this into
practice. Bob covers the complex reasons most of us
have for doing the things we do, how we can communicate
with others in ways that respect those reasons, and
then offers a wealth of suggestions
for handling specific situations that cause all
of us stress when we have to deal with them.
This book won't always get you what you want.
The techniques Bob outlines won't help in getting someone
to do something that's genuinely against their own interests
(of course, if that's your goal,
you're not looking for positive persuasion techniques
- you're looking for manipulation). And sometimes,
people are so stuck in their perceptions that even though
you can clearly see how they'd benefit from helping
you, they can't see it as anything but losing to you.
Bob has some helpful suggestions for times like these
too, but in the real world, nothing is 100% foolproof.
For the vast majority of times, however, positive
persuasion works. If you've ever
felt stressed because of things other people did, if
there are people you find yourself wanting to avoid
because of the way you feel when you have to talk to
them, or if you'd just like to pick up some practical
pointers on communicating with people more effectively,
Winning Without Intimidation
will be an invaluable tool for you.
Tanja Gardner, March 2005
http://optimumlife.co.nz
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